I, Ehud

I, Ehud stand before the man who I would call king and I feel so many emotions wash over me, the way things are, are not the way that were meant to be. Who am I? I often wonder this when looking at the circumstances that so fill my life. Who am I that God should have appeared before me and more or less said,” you shall work for me and I will make your name known throughout the world.” So here I am one of God’s special agents and I wonder sometimes… did I have a choice? I said yes to him, I would go down his set route, but who am I to say no to Yahweh? I’m still not sure on the full set of circumstances that lead me to where I am. I am not a man who I think most people would peg for this job, but I believe God said something about inner character and not outward appearance. Do I have inner character then?

But those are thoughts for then and right now I stand before a king, before a man of great girth. (By that I mean more weight than political. But then again when you’re king, you can be rich… rich and fat.) Why should we have a king over us, were we not the chosen people of Yahweh? This money that I hold, it should be going to my people, not to some foreign oppressor. Yet as I said here I am standing before King Eglon, ruler of my land. What lead us to be ruled over by this man called Eglon, what happened to the days when Moses lead us, or even when Joshua came marching through the land? When we could look for a man and know where God was, because he spoke through that man? Is it really so true that there none that I can look toward?

No, we ended up failing, why? Surely I, Ehud, thought that I could find a right one among the wise, someone who would want to follow Yahweh. Isn’t there a wise man or even a woman among the many who wish to please God? Did we not have the words of Moses? Why couldn’t we then know who our God is and of his great and wonderful power? Oh I mean, of course we know who our God is. The wise speak of that, He is Yahweh, the deliverer of my people from that land of bondage. But the wise also speak of other gods. Were these things of stone and wood so much powerful then Yahweh? How could they be so tempting? Alas, for my people went after them and Yahweh was not pleased. Can one really blame him? After all the mercy he has shown us, I can only thank him that we are not in a worse position… Did not Moses warn of us that Yahweh would not be pleased?

So we were weakened and Eglon and his minions were strengthened. Yahweh did that in one fell swoop and soon that evil king attacked and everything that should have been was not any longer. God had provided for us, but now he took away, he had given to us this gift, but we have regulated him from one, to one in the many. Our hard work became Eglon’s for the taking. Our food which should have filled us filled his insatiable gullet. We soon started to remember the God whom we have left, but why would Yahweh take we back? Then he called me, and I… I got wrapped us into this whole deliverer stuff.

I, Ehud am a man not worthy for the task which my God, Yahweh, the god that should be the only one to us has come to choose. I am everything that shouts unworthy of leadership, everything that the people would look toward, I am not. I am no Moses, Joshua, nor even Caleb. I am not a man who you would think could save his people. But God called. My hand, I lift up and show… do you not see the physical deformity on it? It is closed, broken, I keep it wrapped in a white cloth, but you can still see it. I’m not right handed, no, I am broken… I am not a deliverer they are looking for. I am a tax collector; I present the tithe to king, a ploy maybe, or a means for some bread perhaps… But whatever the case, you don’t like me and probably wish I was dead. But I am he who God has chosen, at least someone has been chosen, I guess you should all be grateful…

So here I stand, I, Ehud, your deliverer before your King, Eglon. Hidden in my garment is a sword that I have made for the sole purpose of killing the oppressor of the land. Call me deceitful if you want, take these things which I do for good and that Yahweh has will me to do and go ahead and mix them up… But I have a goal that I have to do; I have means by which I must save my land. This is an era where things are not so black and white… gray… gray is the color that I live in. So here I go with my message from God, I, Ehud hope that Yahweh will preserve my being.

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